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Last Updated on January 10th, 2024

Thriving Coach Academy Inc. (doing business as Gay Dating Secrets) and its authorized licensees (“TCA”, “we,” “us,” or “our”) offer certifications and training programs (together, “Programs”) offer online courses to support individuals in furthering their personal development.

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When I was a single, I struggled in the gay dating scene.
I thought there wasn't a man out there for me.
I felt worse because I questioned if something was wrong with me.
I thought I wasn't attractive or interesting enough to keep someone around.
And I thought all the men in relationships were SO "lucky."
I was lost, but I wasn't ready to give up on my dream of being in a relationship with an incredible man.
Then, it dawned on me that I was making a BIG mistake.
I was finishing up a call with a business coach (that I invested $10,000 to work with) and preparing to meet my personal trainer (that I invested $400 to work with).
That's when I learned my first love lesson the hard way...

Lesson 1: If You Want To Find Love, You need To Commit To Love.

The one area in my life where I was the most unhappy (my dating life) was also the area I was the LEAST invested in.
I invested so much time, money and energy into my career and health, but when it came to relationships, I fell short.
When it came to relationships, I was only doing what was cheap, easy and convenient.
And the result I was getting were men that were flaky, shallow and judgmental.
That meant attracting men that would come and go from my life. Men that didn't value me. Men that didn't know what they wanted. Can you relate?
It was like I was at a "fast food" restaurant and expecting a five-star gourmet meal. No wonder why I was struggling!
Finding a great man isn't about luck, it is about commitment. I realized I needed to change my approach to dating.
Here's what I realized was keeping me from finding love:

  • Bars and Clubs: I would spent $30 a weekend at crowded bars and meet men that weren't a match. That had to stop.

  • Hookup Apps: I was using apps that focused on sex, not intimacy. If I wanted more than a hookup, I had to get off any apps made for anonymous hookups.

  • Negative Attitude: I had to stop looking for all the reasons why I wouldn't find a man and release my judgmental attitude about the gay community.

  • Being Around Complainers: Some LGBT groups I was in (offline and online) were filled with complainers. It was time to no longer have their energy weigh me down.

But I was still struggling with one thing: my confidence.
Even though I had done so much inner work over the years, I still didn't feel attractive or interesting enough.
I was terrified at the thought of being rejected by someone I would become interested in dating.
So one day, I decided to do something totally different: hire a Dating Coach.
At first, I was skeptical by this idea because I thought, "How could someone help me with dating?" I was unsure it would work.
But, guess what? It worked! And through working with this coach, I learned my second lesson.

Lesson 2: Physical Attraction Isn't Everything.


With my coach, I recognized some of my own blind spots.
I realized my low confidence was a result of thinking I needed to look a certain way to be attractive.
What I discovered is there are two types of attraction: physical and energetic.
Energetic Attraction comes from knowing your worth and feeling comfortable in your own skin.
Attracting an amazing man doesn't require you to change anything about who you are. It requires you to BE more of who you already are.
Physical Attraction may draw two people together, but it doesn't keep them together.
Energetic Attraction does both. It draws people together and keeps them together.
So, I began studying the art and science of Energetic Attraction. And I put it into practice as I re-entered the dating scene.
After I did that, I started meeting incredibly mature men that valued honesty, intimacy, and commitment.
When I focused on my Energetic Attractiveness (instead of physical), I suddenly had many great men lined up in my life.
It became difficult to choose a guy because there were so many good options. A problem I thought I'd never have!
And then, I found love. I entered into an incredible relationship. And there were SO many hidden benefits about being with someone that I didn't realize when I was single.
My partner and I would enjoy:

  • Spending quality time traveling the world together

  • ​Having romantic and fun date nights full of laughter

  • ​Talking about deep, meaningful conversations

  • ​Sharing our fears, dreams and vulnerabilities with each other

  • ​Having intimate, passionate sex (without feeling insecure about our bodies)

  • ​Knowing that I can trust and depend on him for anything

After spending so much time swiping away on apps and having dates that went nowhere, I can now say I've found my Dream Man.

That's when I realized the final and most important lesson.

Lesson 3: The Pursuit Of Love Is Always Worth It.

I remember when I was single, part of me thought I was better off getting by without a relationship.
I thought, "It's safer to avoid rejection. I better stay single." And I know many gay men that fall into this trap.
Here's the thing: Humans are wired for love and connection. 
Every person on the planet is designed to be held, acknowledged, embraced and loved.
When people are lonely, studies show they are more likely to develop depression and heart disease.
Loneliness is an unspoken epidemic that is silently killing gay men each and every day.
There is nothing more valuable than having someone you love to share life with. It is literally healing.
Looking back, I am so glad I decided to commit in love. And I'm so glad I said YES to the pursuit of love.
The pursuit of love is WORTH IT, 100% of the time.
So, if you are reading this, I'm guessing there is a desire inside you for a life-long partner.
I want to share a proven system that works for transforming the types of gay men you will attract.
I have used this system to support hundreds of gay men in having deeper connection in their lives.
This program helps single gay men with these questions:
1) Where do I find quality gay men (outside bars and clubs)? 2) How do I approach men confidently and ask them out?  3) How do I present my most Energetic and Attractive Self?   This can be a mind-numbing process if you leave it to luck, chance or a dating app.

That's Why I Created The "Find Your Dream Man" Program

This program takes all I know after spending YEARS working with HUNDREDS of gay men and studying the art and science of attraction.
And I invite you give it a shot.

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How I Went From Hopelessly Single To Being In An Amazing Relationship (Without Being Rich And Having Abs)

(Watch this as you wait for your guide to arrive!)